My Heart it Bleeds [Entry 07]

Hello, There.
It's been awhile, hasn't it?

I'm going to sidebar for this entry and speak out about a conversation that I just had with my mother on a few things that still heavily relate to my history/past. And, that I wanted to continue thinking about and figuring out in my head.

I'm very close with my Mother.
She's my best friend.

Yes, I'm greatly disappointed by her choices and decisions.
And, she knows it.

However, we can't go back and change it.

We were talking about it tonight.. I'll explain how it came up a little bit later.
She told me that she did what she thought was best for us girls. She stated that
she didn't understand why we didn't tell her what was going on. I explained that
a person can only tell someone something if they truly take the time to listen and
not to just make excuses.

I'm sure that I've covered this.
It was only "It was how he was raised.." "He was military.."
It was never "I'm sorry" "Let me follow up to this.."

I'll have to reread my past entries to see where I really left off so I can get more
into my mother's involvement in my history so I won't dig too deep into it.

The concern we have right now is with my nephew and my sister.
It's heartbreaking to hear my nephew tell me what he doesn't want to go home
to my sister. That he is begging and crying to let him stay with us. He tells us that
she is mean to him.

How does a three year old (almost four) know what mean is?
He surely can't lie about what is mean.
He speaks about flicking and pulling ears.
He speaks about eating soap -- she makes him eat soap if he doesn't do something she wants.
[I've had my fair share of dawn soap from my father. If you never had it -- it's horrible]

He says that mommy is mean and that daddy is mean.
He also says that grandpa is mean.

How can my sister not listen to her son?
How can she submit him to any pain?
Why didn't she learn from my Mother's mistakes?

It hurts me to know he is mad. That he is sad.
and that I'm unable to protect him from being swallowed by darkness.

/Post.